Last Names.
I have had my name for twenty-two years. I have always been Erin Rae Turner. It seems slightly foreign to me that a last name must be changed in order for a marital union to seem valid, legal or complete to many people.
As I feminist, I understand that taking a man's name is a sign of ownership, as well as a transfer of ownership. My name is not my name. It is my father's name. It was given to me by him. I love my father and I am proud to carry his last name.
Many people do not think twice about changing their identity. I do...and I have. I have given it a lot of thought. I have discussed it with my significant other and have learned that this is something that is of importance to him. It signifies the joining of man and woman together under holy matrimony...or something like that.
A name is a name, bottom line. A name may technically define me... but is no way, shape or form does my name dictate who I am. It is a describing word...an adjective...It is there for ease. I could be crafty and create my own last name--but even then, what would I chose? A name carries little importance to me, as odd as that sounds. I never picked my own name... It was chosen for me and I have grown to love it, just as I feel I could grow to love another.
Maybe it has something to do with respect--mutual respect. I have had two serious relationships throughout my study of feminism in the university setting.. The first, I would not budge on the topic of a name change. The second, the current and the last, I would and I will.
The topic of a last name may be a battle for some couples, but for me, I know exactly who I am and a name, whether new or old, will never change that. I know how to pick my battles, and this, is not one of them.
